Mikey's Journey
by Puldoh
Summary: After a bad arguement and a very trying time, Mikey shatters. He tried changing, he tried being just him. Nothing makes his brothers happy. He can't grow up, he cant be a child. He got it. Tired, frustrated and hurt, he leaves the lair......
1. The Beginning

Hiya everyone. Merry Christmas! I know I promised Christmas Fears and WIshes is to be updated but I got struck with sudden inspiration with this story. So here it is. A new Story. Its is completed but I will load every chapter every few days.

**_Please Read and Review!!! Thankies and happy Holidays!!!!!!!!_**

**_And Happy New Year 2009!!!!!!!!!!_**

* * *

Mikey sat in his room, frustrated, angry, sad. He had just had a huge argument with his family. Once again, he was being blamed for something he didn't even mean to do.

Mikey started to pace, wincing in pain as his foot bled freely on the ground. They hadn't even noticed he was injured, Mikey growled in anger, it wasn't his fault!!!!

**_WHY WAS IT ALWAYS HIS FAULT!?_**

Mikey trashed his room angrily, pissed, angry, frustrated with his inability to scream.

He wanted to lash out, to scream at them, to wipe the damn stupid smile from his face. And yet, he couldn't do it.

His family was still outside, still arguing amongst each other. He had been sent to his room. To calm! Mikey picked up a glass figurine that he had found. It was an angel. He hated it in that instant and threw it hard against the wall angrily.

It shattered, just like it felt inside. Everything inside felt like it shattered on him, and he had enough. Throwing his nunchuks to the ground and grabbing a tanto he had received from Gen after he had stolen his comics.

Opening the door to his room, he bounded out. He ignored the burning pain in his right foot, knowing it still had glass and shards deeply imbedded in it. He ran out the door, hoping no one saw him. He had left his nunchuks behind. He didn't need them anymore.

It was too much now. He couldn't do it anymore. They didn't care enough. They wouldn't even let him explain. Mikey ran, thinking back about what had happened earlier, just a few hours ago.

_**They were on patrol and were doing good in dropping the stupid criminals out tonight. He was wondering when they were going to call it a night. He was a little tired. Then they heard a loud burglary alarm go off. **_

"_**Let's go, quiet now." Leo ordered. **_

_**Mikey scoff, hearing that same order. He had heard it every time they gone out that night. Jumping over buildings toward the alarm that was abruptly cut off. Jumping down below, he quickly started fighting. **_

_**Foot. **_

_**Foot Ninja's, Mikey thought in a odd thought, sighing, he looked around seeing about maybe 30 ninja milling around. **_

_**Mikey drew closer and suddenly felt burning pain in his foot. Yelping and falling backwards, he collided with Leo, who yelled out as he fell. Immediately, Raph and Don were pouncing on the ninja's who had suddenly engulfed the two fallen turtles. **_

"_**Shit Mikey!" Raph growled, "Get your fucking mind on fighting!" as he disarmed two ninja's. **_

_**Mikey groaned, his foot feeling like it was shredded as he stood up and pushed the pain aside. He groaned as it flared as he jumped and walked around. He used his nunchuks to bash ago and drop him. **_

_**Soon it was silent and Mikey was suddenly being yelled at. They didn't even see him limping or grimacing in pain. They didn't see the blood as they jumped building to building. Leaving behind three toed footsteps. **_

"_**How can you be so careless Mikey?" Leo yelled as they stopped on a building. It had started to rain. Hard. **_

"_**Look Leo, I didn--" but his words were cut off. **_

_**Don spoke, "What were you thinking of to lose your concentration like that?"**_

_**Mikey growled, he was getting angry. And hurt. "Look, I didn't mean to fall--" but once again his words were cut off, this time by Raph. **_

"_**Geez Mikey, I can't believe you did that!! What happened to the Battle Nexus Champion?" he sneered. **_

_**Mikey felt hurt, "I was--" but Leo cut him off. **_

"_**Not only what you did was stupid, you put me and you in jeopardy God Mikey, how can you be so stupid as to trip? Your ninja for God sakes! You are confined to your room, I don't want to hear another word from you!" Leo yelled. **_

"_**But Leo, if you let me," but another big brother, Don turned and said angrily, "I know you can't concentrate for long and you have trouble focusing, but what you did tonight was incredibly stupid. I hope you take care of that with more training."**_

"_**Geez Mikey, I can't believe you screwed up. Just like always. Is there any nights you aren't a fuckin liability. GROW UP"**_

There words flew threw my head

**Stupid. **

**Liability. **

**Screw up**.

Mikey sighed, walking a little more pronounced then it was.

Mikey was tired of it. Last month he had gotten in trouble for something he didn't even do. He was doing his meditation when he was suddenly accused of playing a prank on Raph. Raph had been in his room and tripped on something and suddenly had been covered with his laundry. Mikey wouldn't have done something so lame. It wasn't his style. They knew that! But he was still yelled at.

And when Raph explained what happened to Splinter, it was concluded it was an accident. But there was no apology. Every one ganged up on him. They hadn't even noticed he hadn't pulled any pranks for almost a month now.

Since then. Since he was yelled to grow up.

_And he had realized he was a prankster and wasn't happy with his role lately. He didn't like being the one who was always happy, stupid and basically a liability. He had started concentrating hard in the dojo, during practice, and they were getting frustrated with him since no one could beat him all of a sudden, when he stopped fooling around. _

They criticized his cooking, insulted him when he said something smart, when he made a mistake they would act like this. _God, he was trying to grow up but they weren't letting him. _Seeing a silver glittering object on the floor, he walked toward it, picking up the tanto, his thoughts full of pain and anger. Gripping it tightly, he stood, deciding.

_**FINE!**_

_**ENOUGH**_

_**I get it**_

_**You don't want me to grow up, FINE**_

_**I wont**_

_**I won't ever grow up!**_


	2. Giving Up

Mikey had run threw the rain, the thunder and lightning, and fell his knees on top of the roof, where he had his fight with Kluh. He sat there, feeling like screaming his pain. He had hid so much of himself, for so long, he had no way of screaming, no way of letting out the pain inside.

He pulled out the sharp tanto, caressing the blade.

He felt tears slip down his cheeks silently, lost in the rain as he gulped down his sobs.

"You don't want me to grow up. I get it." he whispered, "You don't want me to be me, I get it, I don't know what you want me to be. Its too hard. Its too hard to keep trying. I get it. I'll never be good enough….I…I can't be who you want me to be…." he sobbed.

He placed the tanto on his arm, about to press it into his skin, but suddenly, it was yanked from his hands, thrown across the rooftop where it made a skittering sound. Mikey looked up threw the rain falling and saw Casey, his hockey mask pushed up, a worried and scared look on his face.

"Mikey, what the hell man?" Casey asked, shaking from what he had seen his youngest turtle friend about to do.

Mikey looked at him, his words gone from him, and he looked around, making sure no one was around him, that his brothers or father weren't there.

"They ain't wit me Mike. I was on patrol on my own. What the Hell were ya gunna do?" Casey said, kneeling down. "I heard what you said. What's goin' on?"

Mikey felt his voice hitch as he said, whimpering, "I can't be what they want Case, its too hard."

Casey was confused but thinking about the last month and the drastic changes he saw in the youngest turtle, he sighed sadly, shaking his head. Mikey shouldn't be changing himself to make the others happy. They should just be happy with who Mikey was.

"Come home wit me, let's get you warm and we'll talk. I'll call your family-" but Casey stopped when he saw Mikey tense up.

"I don't want to see them," he said flatly, his normally happy face was pale, drawn and haunted.

Casey nodded, remembering what he had seen earlier. Mikey, about to kill himself, the pain shining in his eyes as he brought the knife down. His body shuddered, mind thinking, what would have happened if he had been 10 seconds too late.

"Can't go to your place. They'll find me," Mikey continued, "Can't go anywhere, they'll find me, bring me back, yell at me. No, no more!" and he stood up, dizzy and shaking from blood loss, "Can't go back.."

"Okay okay, ummm, look, how about I take you to my ma's place. She ain't there. Okay, she's outta town. How about we go there. Just talk. I won't tell no one." Casey said sighing. still shivering at what he had seen. Mikey was in so much pain. He had so much sadness around him, and was getting weaker.

Mikey frowned, "They track you, cell phone," Mikey said, trying to push Casey away.

Casey frowned and then looked at his Shell cell and pulled it out. He quickly smashed it against the ground. "They can find that later, a'right? Com'n, let's go to my ma's place?" He understood Mikey needed help now, and he knew he was hurting badly. He had seen the anger and depression set deep in Mikey's eyes when he tried.

Mikey nodded tiredly. He stood up, the dizziness increasing. Soon, he tilted and felt hands grab him as he fell into the darkness and knew no more......

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Review please. And for those who don't understand. This story is finished. I'm just going to update one chapter per day, that's why it says its complete. Its just FF is being a pain and I can't upload more than one chapter a day.

Enjoy and please review, more chapters to come!!!!


	3. Decisions

Hours later, he woke up. He was in a bed, soft, warm, fuzzy. His foot felt funny, like he was wearing socks or something. He groaned, his body felt sore.

"I think he's up Casey, go grab some tea," he heard a woman's voice say. That voice sounded familiar.

April.

He groaned as he struggled to open his eyes. _When did his eyes get so big? Or heavy? Was? Did that make sense?_ He wondered as he opened his eyes and winced at the brightness in the room. A light was switched off and it was a little dimmer.

"Mikey, its April," the female voice said.

Mikey felt like saying, 'Well duh?' but refrained himself. He was trying to change.

"Hey Ape," he said, slowly sitting up. "Wha' happening?'

April frowned, and saw Casey walk in. "Casey found you on the roof 4 days ago. Your family is frantic with worry and Casey forbade me telling them where you are. What is going on?"

"Thanks Casey," Mikey said as he sipped the tea slowly, memories coming back to him as he drank. He remembered what he was feeling on the roof, what he tried to do. What he wished he had done.

"Casey told me what he saw Mikey, what's going on?" April finally asked.

" I can't do it anymore," he finally said and looked up. "I had enough. I can't be who they want me to be. I can't be who I want to be. They don't want me to be either. I'm being torn in two. Nothing makes them happy about me, and I can't keep it up anymore."

Casey sighed, "Tell us what happened with your family to make you wanna do that."

Mikey sighed and glanced down at his foot and saw it was wrapped in gauze and an ace bandage. "When we were doing patrol, I screwed up once again. We were fighting when I stepped on a bunch of glass I didn't see. It hurt and I fell into Leo. Stupid me almost got us killed. They just told me how careless I was, what a liability I was. Stupid me, once again." he said angrily at himself.

He was silent for a moment before he spoke again, his voice hollow and quiet, "They didn't even let me explain, or that I was hurt. No one checked me over. They sent me to my room. I had enough."

"Oh Mikey," April whispered, seeing the pain in Mikey's eyes, the depression that was set deep inside.

"I'm not going back," Mikey whispered, "If you make me go back, its just going to get worse."

Casey sighed, "Nah Mike. Well tell them. You don't gotta go back. Its obviously not good for ya."

Mikey sighed, and laid back down, "I wanna be alone."

"Mikey, we need to talk about this, we need to tell your family what' going on in your head so we can fix it." April said.

Mikey shot up, the blanket thrown from him, eyes blazing with pain, "Do you think me going to them is going to fix it? I have been almost dying for so damn long its commonplace. Don't you know April, I'm the fucking child, I can't change, I can't have deep thoughts. I can't be smart! I can't be skilled, or good, or intelligent. Do they care? BULL! I have had enough. I'm gotta leave, i gotta get away from them," pushing the blankets aside, suddenly deciding to do something different.

'_If his family were going to be jerks and make his life Hell, then maybe he wouldn't be there. Casey did good stopping him from trying to kill himself. Maybe if he wasn't there, maybe if he took off, ran away, then he could change hims_elf.' Mikey thought as he stood up.

"Thanks Casey, from stopping me making a stupid mistake. But I know what I'm going to do, I'm leaving." Mikey said, walking to the window.

"But Mikey, if we sat down and talk to your family, then maybe we can do something to change-" April began, wanting to help Mikey heal.

Mikey burst into laughter, "They won't change April. I know they won't. I tried changing myself, a lot of good that did. Good bye April. Good bye Casey. I'll send you post cards. Kindly tell my family I will return one day." and he walked over to the window, and quickly disappeared.

Casey ran after him, intent on stopping Mikey from taking off. "Mikey, where are you gonna go?"

Mikey turned around and looked at his brother's best friend, "I'm sorry Casey. I really am. But I am soo tired of being the stupid one. The funny one. The child. I tried to grow up, but they wouldn't let me. I tried being just me, but they didn't want him. I kept trying to change myself, nothing was working and I was screaming. I can't keep trying to change who I am to make them happy. I need to make myself happy and if I must do that while I am away, then I will do so. I will return someday, Please, don't tell anyone. Please!"

Casey hesitated, not wanting to keep this to himself, but seeing how Mikey just wanted to be himself, he nodded, "Go Mikey, make sure you let me know your alright, okay? Don't stay away too long."

Mikey smiled, "You're a good friend Casey Jones, protect them. I still love them, but I just can't be around them. Keep them and you and April safe. I want to come home to my family."

Casey nodded, "Of course man, just lemme know how your doing, write letters."

Mikey smiled, nodding, "Of course, and thank you for stopping me Casey. It was the right thing to do. I should've thought about doing something else, instead of that. I'm sorry I scared you. Thank you, don't tell them what I tried to do, I'll do that when I get home."

Casey nodded, "Its going to be okay. I'm glad I stopped ya. Sometimes the line between pain and relief seems so simple to get rid of with something so drastic. Come home whole Mikey, and don't come back before then."

Mikey gave a small smie, filled with pain, remorse and guilt and he sighed, "See ya," and he disappeared in the morning shadows.


	4. Finding Out and Letters

Casey went back to his mom's apartment and sighed. "Well, where is he?" April asked him.

He sighed and plopped down on his mom's couch, "I let him go April. He's right. Why does he have to change himself to make his family happy? If you do that so much, you lose yourself. That's what happened."

April shook her head, "But Casey, Mikey is just a kid!"

Casey chuckled, "April, he may just be a kid, but he has no idea who he is. That's the problem."

"Well, your telling his family then." April countered.

Casey sighed.

Later at the apartment, they called Leo and told him to bring Splinter with them when they came over. Soon they arrived. Don asked, "Did you find Mikey?"

Casey looked at April for help but she refused to help. Casey turned to them and said, "I saw Mikey and talked with him," he started.

"And what did he say?" Raph said angrily.

Casey looked at Splinter and sighed sadly, "Mikey left the city, he's not coming home right now," he finally said.

Raph erupted, screaming, "WHAT?" and jumped toward Casey, eyes red.

* * *

Over the next months: (only a few letters)

_Dear Casey, _

_I know its been awhile, but I'm alright. I'm not hurt, dying or starving. I'm actually up in Canada right now. I went to this small native community and met a young medicine woman in training. Her name is Amanda. Her native name is Wasi. That means Bobcat. I thought that was so cool. _

_Anyway, I have been accepted among her people for awhile now, been here for about a month now. I miss everyone back home, but I am enjoying being just me. I'm learning so much. Amanda is teaching me native medicine and some of the men here are teaching me to hunt. Can you believe it? Me, Mikey, hunting food. _

_But they are teaching me how to preserve food to, and cook it. I learned how to make bannock! IT ROCKS! Especially when you have raspberry jam and its still warm. YUM YUM! Hehehehehe. _

_Anyway, how is things going on there? I sent a bunch of stuff for everyone, and I'll write some more in a few weeks. Sorry it took so long, but it took me awhile to establish myself first. But now that I have my own kind of plan for myself, I will try and send mail every few weeks, okay?_

_How are my brothers? Are they still searching? How is Master Splinter? He hasn't gotten sick again, has he? Give him this tea, its native medicine used to help boost immune system and help them be healthy. Nickolas here has taught me that these medicines can help a lot. _

_Tell everyone I do miss them, but I need my own journey to find who I really am. I hope they understand. _

_Bye Casey, miss you. _

_Mikey_

Dear Mikey,

Things are going alright so far. Raph, Leo and Don nearly went ballistic on me when they found out I let you go. I swear, Raph was going to kill me, but he calmed down now. Then Leo wanted to go ballistic on me.

Man it was nuts!!!! Your bros love you, but I think they kind of lost the point for awhile there. They are feeling guilty and hurt that you ran off, but they didn't know that they were being so mean.

I don't know Mikey, they are all wishing you were home. The lair is so quiet now, and its so odd. No one has touched your game systems and Splinter holds your nunchakus in his room.

You leaving them left a bigger impact I don't think they realize. They miss you Mikey, but I don't think they realized just how much they need you.

Take your time. If you didn't know who you were before, then its time you found out. I'm glad you are taking the time to find who you are. So who's this Amanda chick? Is she hot?

OWWW, April just smacked me upside the head for that comment, but com'n, gimme some news! OWWW, okay okay, she keeps hitting me because I'm trying to gossip. She's actually making sure I don't make myself look stupid on this because I don't write so good. OWWW, I meant well. Okay, anyway, take your time Mikey, you don't gotta hurry home.

Everything is fine for now. Nothing happened, the Foot is still picking up the pieces and Hun is keeping the Purple Dragons in check lately. Make sure you keep writing, alright?

I miss you Mike, everyone does. Lemme know where your travels take you.

Casey (Owww, okay)

and April (she made me write her name, OWWW)

_Hey Casey, April, _

_Sorry, your last letter made me laugh and cry it seems. I miss everyone so much but I'm learning so much on my own. I can see that I needed to grow up in some areas, but now, I feel like I'm finally being the real me. _

_Tell Sensei that I am doing well. I am still training everyday and that I even met a new person. His name is Tei. He is skilled in Ninjutsu as well as many other art forms. He lives his life in the mountains. Right now, I have left my native community behind. Amanda is going to be training to be the next medicine woman and I wanted to continue my travels. _

_Tei is really cool. He had shown me so much techniques. Apparently he to grew up learning and has been a master for many years. He said he was well taught when he lived in Japan many years ago. Which is really cool since Master Splinter is from Japan too. Apparently Tei immigrated here. I think I spelt that right. Hmmm_

_Anyway, he is also teaching me something called kal lig i frie. I think that's how you spell that word. I ain't too sure. Ask Donnie. Anyway, it a really fancy way of writing and its a lot of fun but its hard using those funny pens. _

_Anyway, I sent you a bunch of stuff from my travels. They are in the box all marked. I hope you like them. Sorry it has someone else's name on it. What's going on there lately?_

_I've been trying to meditate and contact my bros but no one seems to be meditating over there. I can never catch them. I wonder what's wrong. No one is hurt, are they? Let me know. I hope everything is okay. _

_I feel like I have a new understanding of who I am supposed to be. I never saw myself as being a teacher or learning other things. I feel like this whole experience has shown me many things I could have shown around the lair without fear of reprisals. I feel more grown up I guess you would say. _

_Its only a four and a half months into my journey and I know I need things to get better before I return home. If they want to contact me, tell them they can give you the letters. By the time you write back I will be on the road and it will be forwarded like last time. _

_I don't want to be found. I need this. I sent Splinter's medicine as well, make sure he takes it everyday. And tell Donnie to write a note on Sensei's health. _

_Love you all guys, _

_Mikey_

Dear Mikey,

How goes it? Things were a little rough for a bit there, I hope you get this letter in time. Splinter became sick. I mean really sick. We're at the farm now. I hope your coming home soon. I think your brothers need you right now. I don't know what else to write.

Everything is falling apart now, and Splinter is sick. Hurry home, we need you.

Casey

_Dear Casey,_

_I am already heading home. I don't know if this letter will get there right away or not, but I know something is wrong with Sensei. I returned to Amanda's community 2 months ago, learning under their medicine man. These last few months have been very helpful. I acquired some herbs that should help Splinter, don't worry, tell them I'll be there soon._

_Keep hope alive, keep my bros alive, keep Splinter alive. _

_I'll be coming home_

_Mikey_


	5. Returns

Casey had looked at the letter he had received earlier that morning. Hurrying back to the farm, he hurried inside, "Guys, Mikey sent a letter saying he was coming home."

Leo looked up, eyes shining with hope, "Really?"

Casey nodded, handing over the letter and saw Raph and Don crowd around Leo trying to read the letter as well. It was snowing outside. "I'm going to go tell sensei," Don said, running up the stairs, a smile on his face.

Casey smiled at his enthusiasm, "Well, this was sent like three days ago, so he should come back home soon enough."

"But will he come soon enough. The last time we heard he was in Canada. Travelling the way we do, it could take him several weeks to just get back." Leo said sadly.

Raph sighed and walked over to the punching bag he had put in the living room. "Its not right. Its Christmas time man, Mikey shoulda been here since it started. He's the one who decorates and all that. And now Splinter is really sick, and Mikey might not make it back in time."

Casey sighed, "Look, Mikey will try to get back as fast as he can, have faith."

Leo sighed, "I know. Its just that it took me nearly a month to return from the Amazon. I don't see how Mikey can get here fast. I don't think he won't make it for at least another 2 weeks."

"Try now," came a voice as the door opened.

"MIKEY!!!!!" everyone yelled as everyone turned toward the door and saw Mikey standing there, a packsack in his hands, wearing winter clothing, a grin on his face.

Mikey was down and on the ground, Raph, Casey, Leo and April on top of him, laughing, hugging him.

"What's going on down- MIKEY!!!" Don's voice came from the stairs. Mikey got up and was immediately knocked down by Don jumping on him. Mikey chuckled as he was helped up once again.

Mikey smiled as he gave everyone a hug. His eyes were sparkling and there wasn't any sadness in his eyes. He didn't look empty anymore. "Sorry it took me so long, I go there as fast as I could."

Leo asked curiously, "How did you get home so fast. We just got your letter."

Mikey smiled, "I had to get home Leo. Miracles happen. Where is Splinter? What's wrong with him?"

Everyone became silent, and Don spoke softly, "He's getting worse. He has pneumonia."

Mikey frowned and reached for his bag and pulled out a large leather bag that was beaded and had a turtle on it. That's when they noticed he had a small tattoo on his cheek. Mikey said sternly, "I need hot water, a cool cloth, and I need your mortar and pestle kit Donnie."

He walked toward the kitchen, smiling. Don saw the tattoo was of a small sun star. He wondered what it was about, and why.

They all nodded, wondering what it was they were seeing in Mikey's body language. He was determined and mature. He still had a sparkle to him, but he was serious.

Don grabbed some things from his lab, and April ran into the kitchen to prepare the herb and Mikey said, "Bring it all upstairs, I need to examine Sensei."

They nodded, agreeing.

While he was upstairs, Raph turned to everyone and asked, "Did you all notice the difference in Mikey?"

They nodded, "He seems more confident now," Leo commented as he cleared away Mikey's boots and jacket and putting them away.

"He feels like he's whole, you notice that?" Raph said curiously.

Casey smiled, knowing his friend had healed, "Mikey is now who he was meant to be, that's all."


	6. Explaining Why

Mikey kneeled down beside his father, who was gasping, struggling to breathe. Mikey hated seeing Splinter like this. "I am sorry it took me so long to return sensei. I'll make you better."

"I need you to sit up so I can listen to your chest, and I need you to tell me where it hurts the most." Mikey said, helping Splinter sit up.

"My son," Splinter said hoarsely, eyes opening as he saw his youngest. A shaky hand reached up and touched the tattoo on his cheek. "You are whole…" and he broke out coughing.

Mikey smiled sadly, "Yes Sensei. I came home, I am finally who I need to be. Tell me what is hurting."

Splinter spent 5 minutes telling his son his symptoms, the pain in his chest and Mikey nodded content. He knew he could help his father recover. It was near Christmas after all, a few weeks away.

Don and April came into the room and Mikey pulled open his bag, taking out various bags and sniffing them, taking some and putting away some. He was very concentrated. He added some herbs to the hot tea and let it sit in there as it cooled.

"Mikey, what is this stuff?" asked Don curiously, "Is it liked those plants you sent sensei the first time?"

Mikey shook his head, "No Don, these are different herbs and plants. They are cut differently than others. They are prepared carefully."

"Where did you learn all this?" April asked as he watched Mikey start to pound a plant into paste, it looked like It was a root.

"When I was with Amanda, they asked me if I wanted to learn native medicine. I did. So I stayed with them a month or so before continuing on my journey. I returned there a few months ago and finished my training. I became a medicine man with all the knowledge. Hey Don, did you know that as turtles, we can receive knowledge and store it away and retrieve it just the same, if we crack into our memories?"

"No, that's impossible Mikey. We can't retain knowledge with just one lesson," Don said and looked over, "If that was possible, we would have been able to learn with the first lesson!"

Mikey looked up from his work and smiled mysteriously, "It is true Donnie, how do you think turtles are born with ancient knowledge? We're born with the ability, we just have to know how to tap into it."

Don was about to protest but he saw Mikey concentrating on making some kind of paste with various plants he took from his bag.

"Sensei, drink this up, I will make more. Its going to make you dream though sensei. Its ancient medicine to help build your spirit strength and repair your body. I am going to place this paste on your chest, you will feel a warmth penetrate your skin and you'll sleep until tomorrow." Mikey said, helping Splinter up.

Splinter drank down the tea and relaxed when Mikey put on the plaster on his chest and covered it with a cool cloth. Splinter soon fell asleep.

"He is going to rest and I will make another tea to help. When he wakes he should be better." Mikey said smiling softly.

"Are you sure Mike? He's pretty bad." Don said doubtfully. He didn't really doubt Mikey, he doubted the medicine he was using.

Mikey smiled, "Don, trust me."

Don sighed, and nodded. He had seen Splinter improve when he was given that tea Mikey had sent. Splinter suddenly had more energy, ate more, his fur that was listless and lifeless returned to its former glory. When Don examined the tea, he found many different rejuvenates properties, vitamins, healing properties for the heart, and muscle.

Mikey turned to April, "Can you keep an eye on him for me April, I would like to visit with my brothers."

April smiled, and nodded her head, "Sure Mikey, go ahead."

Mikey smiled and gave her a quick kiss. He pulled Don downstairs and smiled at his brothers. Looking closely at them, he noticed they had lost some weight. "Com'n bros, lets get some food into you and talk."

Don smiled as Leo and Raph grinned and followed Mikey into the kitchen. Soon, Mikey started chopping vegetables and started the pan grilling onions and peppers right away. He looked in the freezer and found some hamburger and quickly nuked it to defrost and then broke it up and placed it into the pot with the veggies. He looked around in the cupboards and found sauce and noodles.

"So bros, how are you guys?" Mikey asked quietly. He felt a little off since it been so long since he last saw them.

"God Mikey, you don't know how much I missed your food!" Raph said, almost drooling when he smelled the food cooking.

Mikey chuckled, "Alright guys, go ahead, ask questions."

They all laughed at how blunt he said it, knowing that's all they wanted to do.

Leo started, "How are you really? The last time we saw you, it wasn't…it wasn't in the best of circumstances. Casey told us you ran away…"

Mikey sighed and glanced over at Casey sadly, "Thank you for not telling Case."

Casey nodded, "I know. It's okay now."

Mikey turned back to his brothers as he stirred the sauce. "The last time I saw you I was at my end. I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't know what more I had to do. I couldn't be who you wanted me to be. No matter what I did, changed my habits, stop pranking, focussing more, you always found something to fault me with. All of you did."

Mikey looked away, "That night you all yelled at me, I broke. Everything shattered apart in my head. I got it. I tried changing, I tried hiding. I tried everything I could but nothing worked. Leo, the reason I fell was because my foot was cut up badly, I had stepped onto broken glass. That's what I was trying to tell you. That was why I fell," Mikey said sighing, throwing some salt into the heated water, waiting for it to boil.

"That night, I couldn't do it anymore. You didn't want me to grow up, you didn't want me to be a child. I had enough, I planned to kill myself. I felt hollow, empty. I felt like everything was broken apart and nothing I could do was good enough," Mikey explained as they listened in silence, as he placed the noodles into the boiling water.

"I couldn't be who you wanted, I couldn't be who I wanted. I couldn't be anything. I couldn't scream, I couldn't get angry. I was trapped by everything, trapped by who you all thought I was. I wore this mask for so damn long, I lost a large part of myself." Mikey drained the pasta and added some oil and salt to it and mixed it up.

Mikey turned to the cupboards and pulled out some plates, "I got so tired of everything, Casey didn't want me to kill myself. I couldn't go home and hide again. I couldn't go to you guys because you didn't see. So I left. And I think that was the best decision I could have made."

He started serving them spaghetti, "I learn a lot while I was gone, and realized many things. I grew as a result of leaving and found who I was. And found I like who I am now, and am happy. But not yet. I needed to talk with you, come home, confront my demons first. I came home to finish healing." he said, finishing serving his brothers.

Silence for a moment as Mikey fixed up two more plates for April and Casey, and handed them to Casey and told him to go upstairs. Mikey sat down at the table, and watched his brothers contemplate his tale as they ate with gusto.

"Aren't you gonna eat Mikey?" Leo asked curiously.

"Nah, not yet. I ain't really hungry right now. You remember how it was like returning from the jungle? That's kinda how its like now, Can't handle too much food right now. I ate this morning. I'll have something later," Mikey said, grabbing a cup of water.

Leo nodded thoughtfully as they quickly demolished the plate of spaghetti. Soon, they were finished and placing their plates in the sink. "Mikey, why haven't you ever told us this things?" Don finally asked.

"How could I? Really?" Mikey said sadly, following them into the living room.

"Raph was my buddy before he got angry all the time and had to compete with you. I got shoved aside when you left Leo. Don was working and leader. Raph resented everything. You were gone. Splinter retreated into his soaps. April was always gone on trips, and Casey was out doing his vigilante work. I had no one to talk to. Even when I got that job, you never appreciated it." Mikey explained sitting back.

He sighed. Raph spoke angrily, "If we were so bad, you shoulda said something!"

Mikey chuckled, "Guys if I went up to you and said that your teasing, words and everything were too much and you need to change, would you have listened? No. You wouldn't have. You would have laughed in my face."

They started to protest but Mikey said, "When I told you I didn't like it when you were criticizing my cooking, you all laughed. When I tried telling you we need to re-work the security grid, you laughed. Its something you've always done, is disregard everything I said. When Leo was so mad, and I said lay off the poor guy, none of you listened. I mean, he's the leader, he takes responsibility. He just hasta learn to delegate some roles." Mikey said passionately.

"I got empty inside. That fight was the last I could stand. I knew if I returned, I would probably end up killing myself. I know how hard it was to leave everything behind. But I needed to figure out who I was before I could come back and heal." Mikey said softly.

"And now?" Don asked sadly.

"And now, I want to see how it is to be a brother again. Try and find my place among you, hopefully." Mikey said so soft, so full of hope, it hurt them. For their youngest brother to think that they would reject him.

"Come here knucklehead," Raph said with a smile, grabbing Mikey in a hug, "We shoulda watch how we were acting Mikey. It was us who had to change, not you. We thought we were doing right, acting like we did, we kinda lost sight on everything.," he said, holding Mikey tightly, "But we were wrong."

Mikey smiled, feeling warmth and love engulfing him, "Thanks Raph," as he hugged Raph back.

Leo and Don grabbed Mikey tightly, "Its been so hard with you gone Mikey. It wasn't until after you left we realized how much you really did for us. We're sorry. We'll try to fix our ways as well."

Mikey grinned.

He was a part of them again, and he was whole. Things were going right.

All they had to do was wait for Splinter to get well...would he???? he thought anxiously.


	7. Day afters

The next morning, Leo woke up with a slight headache. He hadn't gotten much sleep. He thought back to last night. They had spent many hours last night just talking. Mikey talked about some of his travels, talking freely about the time he had spent away and the things he had learned.

They were very curious and Mikey had been forthcoming. He was slightly more quieter though, but his eyes showed so much. Full of love, laughter, and warmth. From what Casey has said, it was a drastic improvement on how Mikey was when he left. He remembered the last month Mikey was with them. He was changing. And it confused them.

Leo walked downstairs, and stopped, astounded. The whole downstairs was decorated. There was a Christmas tree, a fire in the fireplace, holly above the doors, the smell of Christmas cookies. Leo felt someone bump into him from behind and saw Raph and Don stopping as he did when they saw everything.

"Holy crap, Mikey did all this?" Raph said confused.

They heard laughter in the kitchen and hurried down the stairs. "And Amanda was teasing me when I was supposed to gut this rabbit. I was like, I don't want to, its so cute! And she laughed and then grabbed her knife and chopped the head off and started skinning it. I think I must've passed then because when I woke up, she had started the fire. Everyone laughed at me." came Mikey's excited voice as he recounted a part of his life with the tribe he had adopted.

"Morning, guys, you like the place?" Mikey asked as he pulled some plates out and handed it to them, "Go ahead and eat, sensei is wanting us to join him for tea in about an hour."

"Sensei? But he's sick," Don said confused.

Mikey smiled, "He's a little better. I tried to convince him to stay in bed, but he wishes to join us for morning tea and he will go back to sleep afterwards. His cough is still there, and he's still really weak, but he feels he'll get better faster if he can see us all together."

"Makes sense," Raph says grinning as he took his full plate and sat down.

Leo smiled at how Mikey turned back to April, and smiled, "Anyway, they called me Little Star," he said smiling.

April smiled, "Do you miss them?" she asked curiously. Mikey talked exciteably about this girl Amanda, and this native tribe. She was very curious.

Mikey frowned, his eyes losing a bit of sparkle, and his eyes shifted away, "I will admit, I will miss them. I will miss Amanda. She knows where I am going. Where I will be. But I will admit, I am going to miss living amongst them."

They were silent, until Casey asked, "So is Amanda a babe or what?"

April slapped him upside the head, "Casey!!!"

Everyone burst into laughter. Mikey did as well.

Don noticed him wipe away a tear from his eyes when everyone's eyes were on Casey, and was worried, did Mikey want to leave again?


	8. Leaving Again?

Four days till Christmas:

Mikey had been with them for almost 2 weeks now, Christmas was just days away. He was looking a little thin for their sakes, and wondered why he was so lethargic, there was a sad aura around him, ever since he returned.

Leo walked up to Mikey sitting at the window gazing outside. "What's going on Mikey?"

Mikey continued to look out wistfully, "Did you know that when I was with the tribe, I was a hunter? A very good one at that, after I got over the squeamish part? They called me Little Star. Because I was young but I was like a star, shined so bright, but lived so long, I never burn out?They said I had a hard life. I agreed to a point."

Leo nodded, wondering where this tale was going to. "Yeah?"

"There were days when I would miss everyone so much, I would run out into the forests. I would stalk and hunt pray, trying to feel free. It worked. I did. I was alone with my thoughts, I had the knowledge I can survive on my own…" he continued. "When I was Little Star, I was different. I had this knowledge inside of me, this passion I knew that told me, I can be me, I can survive. But then that feeling of missing you," he faltered, his voice choking a bit, "Missing you all, and thinking, maybe I should return home, just go back to being how I was. Don't grow, don't change. And inside, it hurt. I was on my own for weeks sometimes without a soul to talk to when the pain of missing you came back."

"Its hard. Some days, I was completely on my own, and I grew to like it, to crave that silence. And now I'm surrounded by people, all the time." he whispered, "and I feel wrong if I say I want to be alone. I miss some people so much, I feel like I should return, and it hurts….it makes me feel Like I failed. That I shouldn't be feeling guilty about wanting to be alone, or wanting to go back to the woods, being alone...."

Leo's eyes widened as he realized he had gone through much of the same thing. Suddenly from having no one around except a choice few, to suddenly a whole family, was hard. And it made you feel like your suffocating. He recalled how hard it was when he was around everyone, sudden;y everythign was so noisy, when all you could hear was silence.

"Mikey, how about you go out hunting?" Leo said slowly, "I understand you know. That feeling of suffocation. That strange pull at your gut, and that anxiety of being thrust among people."

"Its not just that, I stayed with a tribe in BC Leo. I lived in the woods and would come and visit them. I am used to being around people in a way….." Mikey trailed off.

"You feel out of place, ' Leo explained, "that you won't fit in, no matter how hard you try so you try and assert yourself," Leo said sadly, his voice showing emotion he too had felt when he returned from the Amazon.

Mikey glanced up, his eyes understanding. "I know what you mean bro, I know what you mean." He turned his gaze back outside, a yearning look on his face.

"Mikey, go, hunt, track or do whatever you want. Go, we'll be okay. Go for a few days. Okay?" Leo said softly, touching Mikey's shoulder which had tensed up but slowly relaxed.

"You need a break. Go," he said.

Mikey sighed, and then nodded, "Okay, let me give Don's instructions on Splinter's medicine and I'll go pack up some of my gear."

Leo smiled and asked, "Where is all your gear, all we found was your backpack."

Mikey smiled, "I hid it in the barn bro, its kinda a habit of mine to hide things and I was travelling with a lot of gifts. Don't worry, my survival gear is in the barn."

Leo smiled and nodded. He just realized Mikey didn't wear his bandana and thought with interest, it suited him. He wore his orange cloth on his arm, like an armband, and that was interesting. He didn't realize how much it suited him, it showed off that tattoo as well.

"Mikey," Leo asked curiously, no one had to guts to ask about the tattoo, but the curiousity got to him. "Mikey," he called again, smiling, his hand reaching out and touching the small sun star burst on Mikey's cheek, "Why did you get this?"

Mikey grinned, "Com'n bro, I hadta! Like I was training to be a medicine man! And with what I learned, they gave me this. I was qualified. And com'n bro," he said chuckling a large grin on his face, "How can I say No to a tattoo? They gave me some other ideas for some more, and like dude, they are AWESOME!!!"

Leo chuckled, shaking his head at Mikey's enthusiam.

Mikey walked off and Leo could hear him telling Don instructions. "But why are you telling me this Mikey, I thought you were going to take care of it?"

"Because I need a break on my own…" he said, trying to explain.

Raph overheard, eyes blazing with anger, "Your leaving again, what? Why? What did we do now? What are you not tellin' us Mike?"

Mikey sighed tiredly, "Look, I just…I need some time to just me, I'll be back in a day or so. Okay, look Don, I wrote it out, just do exactly what it says, and make sure he drinks it morning, and late afternoon, and drink the second tea before bed. He's almost better, we just need to keep his immune system strong."

"Okay Mikey, come back soon." Don said sadly.

Raph stood at the door, eyes blazing.

Mikey gave a small smile, "Raph, I need-"

But Raph glared, his hand tense and taut, "Fine, leave again!" and he turned and left the room angrily.

Mikey bit his lip as he looked at the slammed door. He knew Raph didn't understand and knew it had to work out later. _He was tired. He knew he was._

Mikey soon left afterwards.

************


	9. Raph Talks

**Well everyone, I said this would be updated as soon as I can. Well today is your lucky day, I updated it completely! It's complete! Enjoy!**

**And to those few who have reminded me last year of my promise to take my old stories off of Hiatus, I thank you!!!! I plan to start this month on updated and finishing the stories on Hiatus. For those who don't know, last year, due to the large amount of stories I had posted, I got overwhelmed and placed a few stories on Hiatus. **

**I promise, I will update these stories. It may take a few weeks though because I need to return to them. So wish me luck. **

**Also, I have planned to update Thunder and Lightning, Foster Child, Christmas Wishes, and Who was He today and Hunted! All this week or late next week. SO REVIEW PLEASE!**

**And for all these chapters I just posted, please, if you can, review for everyone. I hope its all to your liking. **

**Enjoy!!!!**

* * *

Raph was in the living room, punching the bag with a furious passion, enraged Mikey left.

"I'm tryin not to say nuthin'. I'm staying quiet, I stay outta his way, and what does he do? Runs away again, little shit!" he said angrily, pounding away.

Leo sighed, "Raph, he needs time to adapt. At least he told us what was bugging him, instead of bottling it up like before."

"Why does he need to take off? I thought we were doing good!" Raph said, turning around, showing many emotions on his face.

Leo wondered what Raph was hiding, he seemed so confused. And it was days before Christmas.

"Raph, he's been on his own for awhile, he grew up. He's talking to us, but rejoining the family is harder. When I returned, it was like I lost a spot on the team, which I did. It couldn't be filled with just me returning, I had to find my place again. And he just came from travelling, being on his OWN!" Leo tried to explain, "Suddenly being around people is hard, you are around everyone, and it feels like your suffocating."

Raph frowned, "Is that how you felt when you returned?"

Leo nodded, "That's why I tried so hard to re-establish command. I thought if I just ignored everything and pushed ahead, it would be okay, I would find my place, but I didn't. I ignored your feelings, and things went to Hell."

Raph grinned, "Yeah, I was pretty pissed. You tried to establish command and it made me so mad, I think that's why I fought back so much. I know how to lead Leo, and I know how to follow, you never just ask, you command, that's was your problem."

Leo's mouth fell open in surprise and shock. "I…I didn't realize," he said.

Raph grinned, "I know Fearless. Its alright. You know now."

Leo nodded and thought about it for awhile.

That night, they talked for awhile, Raph and Leo coming to an understanding and Don explaining what Mikey was doing with the medicine. "He told me that Nikolas told him many plants have healing properties, and Nikolas explained how to find his memories. Mikey won't talk to much about that experience, but he said something healed inside him when he underwent it."

"So is Mikey okay?" Raph asked curiously, "Because him leaving again is something new."

Don smiled, "He left because he felt uncomfortable to be around people all of a sudden. He had been trying to get comfortable with everything lately, but he felt outside it all, do you see? I think he's also missing the tribe that adopted him. When he talks about them, something in his eyes change, its like a very strong feeling when it comes to them."

Raph shrugged, "I don't know, its all different now. I saw that too. He talks with April and sometimes us about them, but he never really goes into to much detail. Mikey is different but the same. You know. He still smiles and jokes around. But did you notice him during training?"

Leo nodded, "I know what you mean. I saw it to."

"Saw what?" Don asked curious.

"He's doesn't annoy me no more during training. You notice he don't talk about his Battle Nexus or nuthin'? He use to all the time. No, he acts so… what's the word I'm looking for?" Raph said, turning to Don.

"Adult? Mature? Grown Up? I don't know. I know we never really gave him the chance to grow on his own, and we never let him change. I remember how we acted and I am ashamed about it. That's why I'm so understanding." Don said explaining.

Raph nodded, "Yeah, he's more mature and I agree. I think we don't really see who Mikey was. Its just hard. He's my best friend. I hope he feels better. I noticed him fidgeting earlier."

They all nodded agreeing, having seen Mikey fidgeting and jumping when someone touched him. It concerned the brothers, just then, someone knocked on the door.


	10. An Unexpected Visitor

They immediately hid quickly, while April grabbed the cups and hid them, and Casey walked over to the door. Behind it was a young woman, native, black hair and bright blue eyes.

"Hello, I am searching for Little Star, is he here?" she said smiling.

"I'm sorry there isn't any Little Star here," Casey began.

"I'm sorry, my name is Amanda. I am friend of Little Star, He is a turtle? He said he would be here if I wanted to follow him. So I came. Are you Casey Jones?" Amanda said smiling. Beside here there were several small bags.

"Yes, I'm Casey, but who-" he started to say when April heard her speak earlier.

"Amanda? Your Mikey's friend Amanda, right?" April asked smiling. She knew this young woman could be trusted.

"Yes, I am very close friend of Michelangelo. He said he would be here, taking care of his father," Amanda said, a little distressed, "I am worried about him. I can feel his distress."

"What are you talking about?" April asked confused as she ushered her in the house. "You guys can come out now," she called out.

They came out a little shyly, as they came from the shadows.

Amanda smiled at them, "It is alright, let see if I get you right?" pointed at Leo, she smiled and said, "Fearless Leader and Bossy brother?"

Leo flushed but nodded.

Amanda turned to Don, "Fixer God and Gentle brother extradonaire."

Don smiled and blushed hard, glaring at his brother's chuckles.

Amanda grinned and turned to Raph who narrowed his eyes, not wanting to be teased, "I know you. Your Mikey's best friend and notorious Hot head."

Raph scowled but smiled when he heard he was Mikey's best friend.

"I am sorry to come unannounced but I needed to talk to Little Star. I came to tell him news. Where is he?" Amanda said, sadness in her eyes.

"He went on a retreat for the day. Something was bothering him." Leo said a little concerned.

Amanda moved to her bags and quickly grabbed two items from it, and said, "I must go find him. He will be quite distressed. If it is alright, I may return here?"

April nodded, "Of course you may, bring Mikey with you."

Amanda nodded and pulled up her hood. They just realized it was made out of rabbit fur. They watched as she left.

* * *

"Well, I admit, I am curious now," Leo said thoughtfully, watching as Amanda left, walking quickly through the snow and disappearing.

"My son, who was it?" came the wizened voice of Splinter.

"It was Michealgnelo's friend sensei. What are you doing out of bed. You should stay in bed, I don't want you to get sick. Come, let us go back to your room," Leo said, turning into Mother Hen mode.

Don and Raph smiled as Splinter portested but eventually gave into Leo's words, and went back upstairs. Casey said, "I'm going to go and chop some more wood, I'll be back in a few. okay?"

They nodded and Raph and Don went to sit on the couch as April walked into the kitchen.

"Splinter's going to be alright, isn't he Don?" April asked as she walked out with some hot chocolate.

Don looked up from his spot on the couch, taking the hot chocolate gratefully, "Huh, oh, yeah, he's a lot better now. We just need to make sure he doesn't over do it with his strength. He needs to do it carefully, gradually work his way to where he was before. If he did too much at once, he could get a relapse. I think thats why Leo is so concerned."

April nodded thoughtfully and asked, "And what do you guys think of Amanda?"

Don and Raph glanced at eachother, a smirk grew on their face, "She seems to be a curious person, concerned for Mikey's well being. She seems to be a very nice person from the small amount of time she was here for. But from what Mikey told us about her, she also seems to an interesting person."

April smiled, "And what about Mikey's feelings about his trip? How do you guys feel about Mikey now?"

Raph chewed his lip thoughtfully, thinking about his little brother. He was impressed with the amount of growing up he did. He had managed to keep some of his traits as well, that was truly Mikey. "I feel a little angry still about him leaving like he did, but I am accepting he did because he had ta. This new Mikey, he's cool, smart, and still nice. Like Mikey." He paused, still thinking, "I kinda miss the old Mikey, who backed down alot, and let us do things our way. This Mikey, how he is now, is different. Speaks his mind. And he can kick our ass in training as well."

April was impressed with how much Raph was able to explain and talk about his own views with Mikey. Raph usually avoided talking about such things and April thought it would be a tough time getting Raph to open up about it. "Well, thats true in that regards. I am impressed with Mikey. He seems to a completely different Mikey. And its very hard to see that you know."

Don shrugged, "I don't know. I can understand why he wanted to have time to himself. We could still be doing the same thigns we did before we left. Some of the same attitude we had before. I don't know if we have, i tried to catch myself the few times I almost slipped. But I also notice he keeps intimate thoughts to himself. WHen he cries out at night, he doesn't come to us to talk about it. Its like he's hiding a part of himself still and it does concern me. But to bring it up, would also cause tension to be high."

Raph nodded, "I noticed when he talk to ya April about Amanda or that tribe of his, his eyes woulda changed. Like a craving or sumthin'. He's hidin' sumthin', who knows what it is."

April nodded, wondering herself. She hadn't noticed anything different so she was curious.

Casey then walked in, having left to chop some wood, he dumped the armload into the firewood box, and turned, a grin on his face, "So da native chick is hot, ain't she?"

April smacked him hard upside the head as Don and Raph burst into laughter.


	11. Re United

Amanda tracked Mikey's hidden trail, and saw he was travelling through the tress as well. She shook her head, smiling because he had done this back in her woods. It made it more difficult to track him and was quite clever. She could smell a fire further on, and sighed.

She walked on for about 20 minutes, her feet crunching through the snow lightly, and she spotted him up ahead.

"Little Star!" she called out smiling, running up ahead.

"WASI!" Mikey called out, running to her and pulling her into his arms. She laughed. She had missed him a lot.

"Wasi, what are you doing here? Why are you not with your reserve? You were training with Nikolas." Mikey asked, leading her to his campsite.

"Little Star, there was a tragedy." Amanda said, tears falling down her cheeks.

"What happened? Tell me, I have been feeling odd lately. Something was wrong back home." Mikey said.

"Morning Bear and Nikolas died," Amanda whispered, "A hunting accident."

Mikey frowned, his heart saddened, "And you came here why?"

Amanda smiled through her tears, "Because I belong with you Mikey. I had realized that me and you, we are connected."

Mikey smiled though his own tears, "Your staying? I mean, your actually staying with me? I'm a turtle, Wasi, I am a freak. I don't deserve you."

Amanda smiled as she brushed his cheek lightly, "It is me who does not deserve you Little Star. We were brought together. Let us be together."

Mikey reached down, and they kissed deeply.

***********

Early that morning, Mikey woke up to see Amanda near the fire, cooking what looked like a rabbit. He smiled and walked over, "Hey Wasi, morning," he said softly, sitting nearby.

Amanda smiled at Mikey, "Come, sit down," and handed over a leg of the rabbit, "Eat."

Mikey ate in silence. "Wasi, tell me what happened to Nikolas and Morning Bear?"

Amanda sighed, sitting down nearby. "They had gone out early one morning. Nikolas wanted to work on Morning Bear's accuracy with the Bow. While they were out, we were awaiting to celebrate Morning Bears hunting. We waited, but they didn't come back." Amanda looked away, looking at the fire as she spoke softly, "They were gone for three days. We had set out to find them. But they were lost. Finally, David, Morning Bear's uncle found them. They had been mauled by a bear."

Mikey closed his eyes sadly, knowing that it could always happen. To die such a terrible death. "Im so sorry Wasi. I really am. My sorrow extends to you all."

Amanda's nodded, wiping the tears away.

"But after they died, what made you come find me, come join me?" Mikey asked concerned.

"Because when they died, it felt like I was suffocating. No one could help. I felt trapped. All I could feel was this longing. It took me sometime to see that I was missing you greatly. I did not want you to go, remember? But you chose your family."

Mikey nodded, "You know they would be my choice. I can't like there."

Amanda nodded and looked up, "I had no family there Little Star. I didn't. I had decided that I would leave, join you. I missed you my love, I gave you my heart and you hold it still."

Mikey gave such a brilliant smile, it lit up his face, "My heart was given to you. I missed you so much. I wanted to return, because I knew I was missing something dear to me, something I knew I needed. My family is happy to see me, and I was able to help Splinter. Even though my family is complete with them, I still felt like something was missing. I missed you, all , so much, and wanted to return. But I couldn't go back, I can't leave my family, they need me."

Mikey looked up, that smile faded away, "But now you are here, and saying you want me. To be with me, despite me being a freak. It makes me happy, like its so awesome to see you here. To hear, that you left everything behind, to be with me, makes me want to love you even more. I finally know what I need..."

Amanda smiled as Mikey lifted her up, "I need you Wasi," and they kissed, showing their love.

***Sexual scenes deleted to preserve the minds of all those innocent teens out there! LOL****


	12. Finally Complete

Mikey started packing shortly after they enjoyed some time to themselves. He kept smiling at Amanda who helped extinguish the fire and pack. They soon set off towards the farm.

"They will accept us Little Star?" Amanda asked nervously.

Mikey held her hand lovingly, "Yes. They know who I am, and they will know I belong with you."

Entering the door to the farmhouse, Mikey was quickly engulfed in hugs and smiles and Amanda was given a warm hug from April. Amanda smiled as Mikey said, "I'm complete now bros."

Splinter stood up from the couch, smiling as his youngest came to him, holding Amanda's hand, "Master Splinter, this is Amanda. She…well. See.." Mikey said nervously, "she's to be my wife," he blurted out.

Splinter looked at Amanda, his wise eyes seeing wisdom and true love in her eyes, and smiled at Michelangelo's nervous face. "It is alright My son. You deserve to find someone true to you, who will love your soul and not your looks. I approve."

Everyone looked shocked but soon Mikey was engulfed in hugs, kisses and congratulations from everyone.

He smiled, laughing in glee as his older brothers started to try and interrogate Amanda who played and teased them.

He was surrounded with family, his love, and he was complete. It was soon Christmas, and Mikey knew, that this hard and troubled journey was something that he needed, a journey for his own soul.

Mikey smiled happily.

He was whole, complete and a new person. This was going to be a great Christmas.

'I love them all' he thought as he watched Amanda punch Raph on the arm for some kind of remark.


End file.
